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Dealing with
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HAND of the Peninsula P.O. Box 3693 Redwood City, CA 94064 (650) 367-6993 info@HANDsupport.org |
- Express your own sorrow and be willing to listen.
- Remember that grieving over the loss of a loved one, including an
infant, involves a normal healing process that can last from one to two
years or even longer.
- Sadness and crying when talking about the baby are part of the
healing process. Friends and family need not feel they have "made the
parents feel sad" when they talk with the parents about their loss.
- Listen to the parents and allow them to share their experience
and their pain with you.
- Cry if you need to. Shared tears are a precious gift.
- A simple "How are you feeling today?" tells the parents that
you care.
- Announcing the death of a baby can be difficult and awkward.
Many parents are not immediately ready to talk with people. Friends and
relatives can offer to make these difficult calls for them. HAND
has samples of tasteful birth/death announcements that can be mailed.
- Offer to make dinner or help with day-to-day routines.
- Use the baby's name in conversation. It tells the parents that
you recognize their baby as a real person.
- A call or a card can mean a lot, especially on anniversaries of
the baby's birth and death.
- Stay in touch often and never forget.
Joseph Twicken / webmaster@HANDsupport.org
Copyright ©2004 HAND of the Peninsula