Some of the difficult and painful aspects of grieving for the loss of a baby are listed here:

• Engorgement and milk in the breasts can be a painful physical reminder for a mother that she has no baby to nurse.

• Fathers need opportunities to express their grief in their own way. It is important to realize that each individual grieves differently.

• Parents often need assistance in talking with their other children about the baby's death.

• Grandparents often grieve for their grandchild, and may also find it difficult to deal with the pain of their children.

• Family members and friends often find it hard to talk about the baby, and inappropriate remarks may cause further grief.

• Seeing pregnant women and babies is often painful for months after the loss of a baby.

• Anniversaries of the baby's birth and death often bring back parents' feelings of grief and loss.

HAND of the Peninsula offers a number of helpful suggestions for bereaved parents, and also offers some suggestions for friends and relatives of parents who have lost a baby before, during or after birth.