HAND of the Peninsula: Helpful Suggestions

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	*Helpful Suggestions* Suggestions for Friends and Relatives

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HAND of the Peninsula
P.O. Box 3693
Redwood City, CA 94064
(650) 367-6993
info@HANDsupport.org

HAND of the Peninsula offers the following helpful suggestions to parents who have experienced the loss of a baby before, during or after birth:

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you feel. Feelings are not right or wrong. They just exist.
Naming the baby is a way to acknowledge the baby's uniqueness, and can help parents later when they think and talk about the child. It is never too late to name your baby.
Seeing and holding the baby can help confirm the reality of the loss and dispel frightening fantasies.
A photograph of the baby, a lock of hair, footprints, a birth and/or death certificate and other mementos can be prized possessions.
A commemorative service, a religious ceremony, planting a tree or rose garden is helpful and appropriate at any time.
Stay in contact with those friends and relatives who understand your loss.
Read materials regarding miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal death. There are a number of excellent books addressing the emotional, sexual and physical reactions. Many are available in the HAND resource library.
Obtain as much information as you can regarding your loss from your health care providers.
Participate in a pregnancy loss support group.
Many parents find it helpful to see a professional therapist to help sort out feelings regarding the pregnancy loss. HAND can provide referral to professional counselors, if requested.

Last updated: July 24, 2004